That's All Folks
by loveJLforever
Summary: A bunch of non-related oneshots that pop into my head occasionally. Warning: Hijinks and Chaos ensues For the sake of the search, Robin, Dick (Richard) Grayson, Wally West, Kid Flash, Kaldur'ahm, Kaldur, Aqualad, Artemis Crock, Megan, Miss Martian, M'gann, Connor Kent, Superboy, Zatanna, Rocket, Raquel Ervin, Roy Harper, Red Arrow(Speedy heh). Enjoy! Rated T just in case.
1. Le Group Text

**Hey guys! Really sorry for those who were expecting Normally Weird. I'm at a stump point where I know what I want to happen but I don't know how I want it to go down. It'll be up next week, promise. In a kinda halfway atempt at compromise, I started my own little box of oneshots. Woops. Ok well enjoy!**

* * *

Artemis: So is this team group chat thingy working?

Wally: Idk let's do a roll call.

 _Robin named the conversation "Feeling The Aster 2k11"_

Wally: Well we know Rob and Arty are here. Megan?

Megan: Hello

Wally: Conner?

Conner: sup

Wally: Kaldur?

Wally: Kaldur?

Wally: Hmm I guess phones don't get good reception from down in Atlantis

Artemis: Anyways, what is everyone doing

Wally: Nm

Conner: I'm helping Megan cook food

Robin: And I'm just egging around.

Wally: So does egging around make you eggsited?

Artemis: Oh no

Wally: What? You don't like the egg puns?

Artemis: No

Robin: Great, all the more reason to do it

Wally: Guys Artemis just threw an actual egg at me!

Robin: So your telling me, she overeggzagerated?

Artemis: Stop

Conner: Why don't you like our yolks?

Artemis: Is2g Connor

Megan: She probably wants to crack our heads open

Artemis: nO

Wally: You'll have to begg

Artemis: STAHP

 _Wally named the conversation "Artemis is kinda neggative"_

Artemis: why

 _Artemis removed the name from the conversation._

Wally: Are you eggravated sweetheart?

Artemis: I'm done

 _Artemis left the conversation._

Kaldur: I guess she made a quick eggzit


	2. Roy Don't Drive

"Alrighty, you guys ready or what?" Roy asked as Wally finally got into the car.

"Yeah! Car-knee-vals are the greatest! Funnel cake, cotton candy, corn dogs, ice cream, popsicles-"

"ALRIGHT we get it, Kid Mouth," Dick interrupted Wally from the roof of the car. "PS, what's a 'car-knee-val?'"

"You can't even talk Language... um... Butcherer," Wally stuck his tongue out at him.

"I'm just glad I finally have my license," Roy paused. "Ready guys?"

"Yepperoni!" Wally exclaimed.

"Seriously, dude? Yepperoni?"

"What, you can butcher the English language and I can't?"

"Yes."

"So not asterous dude. Alright then. Forward, HO!" Wally shouted, pointing ahead of them.

"Seriously dude, just... Just don't," Dick told him as he climbed back onto the roof of the car. It was his favorite way to travel, the wind in his hair, the sunset giving the buildings a beautiful shadow, it was usually gorgeous.

"Here we go!" Roy laughed joyfully as he rammed his foot into the gas.

Sadly, this would not be a usual time.

They sped off, and Dick was hanging onto the sunroof as much as he could while screaming his head off as Wally screamed from inside the car.

"ROY! SLOW DOWN!" Dick shouted, but he couldn't be heard over the wind... And Wally's little girl screaming.

"ROY WATCH OUT FOR THE OLD LADY! AND THAT DOG!" Wally pointed.

"Agh!" Roy turned the wheel, causing the car to tilt on the left, successfully avoiding both the lady and the dog.

They got to Smoler and 35th street where, sadly, there were a bunch of twists and turns. Luckily, it was a very rural area, but that didn't stop Wally from holding on to the OSB (Oh Shit! Bar) while yelling at Roy to stop the car.

Meanwhile, on top of the car, Dick was swinging left and right and diagonal and upside down.

Eventually, they were off the road in the middle of a cornfield where the corn was super high and obscured Roy's vision.

When they finally got out of the corn, they were headed straight for the wall of a farmhouse.

"ROY! THE BREAKS! NOW! DO IT NOW!" Wally and Dick shouted in unison, though Dick couldn't hear Wally and Wally couldn't hear Dick.

Roy slammed the break, stopping three feet away from the farmhouse.

"aaaaaAAAAAGH!" Dick shouted as he went flying off the car. He hit the farmhouse at full speed.

"Olgh," he groaned, falling onto the ground and leaving a starfish imprint on the farmhouse.

Back at the car, both Roy and Wally flinched as Dick hit the farmhouse. Wally opened the door, fell out, and puked his guts up.

"Roy..." Wally said as he finished, wiping vomit from the corners of his mouth. "Get away from the gas petal."

Roy shakily removed his hands from the steering wheel and got out of the car. He got down on his hands and knees and kissed the Earth beneath his feet, thanking the Lord that they were still alive.

Well, maybe.

They went up to the farmhouse to find Dick on the ground, arms crossed and batglaring at Roy.

It actually looked quite painful.

"You," he whispered hoarsely, pointing at Roy. "Come here."

Roy bent down close and put his ear to Dick's mouth.

Dick took in a shaky breath before- "YOU DO NOT EVER DRIVE AGAIN!"

"Yeah," Roy replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Dude, how'd you even pass your drivers test?" Wally asked, waving his arms in the air for emphasis.

"Well, the teacher's exact words were, 'If I fail you, will you be coming back to take the test again?' to which I nodded and she told me I was only passing because she wasn't ready to meet Death yet," At this, he received confused looks from the two boys. "It was a really weird lady!"

Dick tried to sit up painfully, and with the help of Wally and Roy, succeeded.

"Alright, here's how this is gonna go. Wally, you're driving me to the Manor, and Roy, you will explain this to Bruce and Alfred when we get there. Understand?"

The other two nodded.

"Good. Roy," Dick said, opening his arms. "Carry me to the car?"

Roy, scoffed, but picked him up anyways.

*TS*

"And that's what happened to Dick, why Wally has puke all over his shirt, and why Wally was driving instead of me, the 'responsible' adult."

Barry, Alfred, and Bruce milled over this for a minute.

"Please don't call GA," Roy pleaded.

"Oh, it isn't him I'd be worried about," Bruce said, smirking.

A bat smirking is never a good thing.

"Then who?"

"Me," Roy whipped around, coming face-to-face with Black Canary.

" _Oh, sh_ \- ow ow ow," Roy protested as she dragged him to the car by his ear.

 **The end. Idk what to do with myself because now I have like a million ideas and so just yeah don't try to stop me it's FUTILE HAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

 **okay but it's also late so night.**


	3. UNU MORE GROUP TEXT

**Wallmart85:**

hey arty.

arrrrttttyyyy

artemis

hey hey artemis

aaartemis

s

a

r

t

e

m

i

s

 **ImWhelmed:**

wally wtf r u doin its fo u r am

 **Wallmart85:**

ARTEMIIIIIS

oh hey

help me get artemis to answer

 **ImWhelmed:**

no im going back to sl eep

 **Wallmart85:**

but we have A veRY iMPOrTant THinG tO dIsCuSS

 **ImWhelmed:**

…

 **Wallmart85:**

pleeeeaaasssee

 **ImWhelmed:**

ugh fine

 **Wallmart85:**

artemis

 **ImWhelmed:**

hey artemis

 **Wallmart85:**

A. R. T. E. M. I. S.

 **ImWhelmed:**

artemi so i can go to sleep

 **GotGills:**

Could you not?

 **Wallmart85:**

oh hey kaldur

help us wake up artemis

 **ImWhelmed:**

i m so tired

 **GotGills:**

Wally, Robin, perhaps now would not be the best time.

 **ImWhelmed:**

ya don't think

ps i legit hear through that text

 **Wallmart85:**

oh come on kal, help us out

 **GotGills:**

No, and I am turning off my phone.

 **Wallmart85:**

fine

 **ImWhelmed:**

take me with u

 **Wallmart85:**

ok arty

 **ImWhelmed:**

artemis

 **Wallmart85:**

omg artemis pls

 **ImWhelmed:**

i bet she's awake, she's just ignoring u

 **MartiansExist:**

guys

please do thi of the group chat

some of us like sleep believe it or not

 **Wallmart85:**

megan

megan

megan

 **MartiansExist:**

yes wally

 **Wallmart85:**

megan

oh

help us wake up artemis

 **MartiansExist:**

and why would i do that

 **Wallmart85:**

...tell her rob

rob ?

ROBIN WAKE UP OMG I NEED U TO DEFEND ME

 **ImWhelmed:**

jfc chill i had to use the bathroom

megan if you help us you get to go back to sleep faster

 **MartiansExist:**

yeah, idk

 **ImWhelmed:**

ok thats fine

get out while you can

 **MartiansExist:**

no srsly take me out of this group chat i wanna slleeeeeeeep

 **Wallmart85:**

no

 **MartiansExist:**

…

 **Wallmart85:**

no

 **MartiansExist:**

ok well im going to bed, and im putting my phone in the fridge

 **Wallmart85:**

be that way then

 **ImWhelmed:**

artemis pla

pls*

 **Wallmart85:**

artu

a r t

 **ImWhelmed:**

shoot no reply still

 **Wallmart85:**

hmm

 **ALLCAPS:**

GUYS GO TO SLEEP

EVERYONE IS SICK OF THIS

WE ALL JUST WANNA SLEEP PLEASE

 **ImWhelmed:**

ur text screaming is literally hurting my eyes

 **ALLCAPS:**

GET OUT OF THE GROUP CHAT

 **Wallmart85:**

not until artemis wakes up

artemis

 **ALLCAPS:**

I WILL KILL YOU BOTH IM NOT JOKING GET OUT

GO BOTHER ARTEMIS BY YOURSELVES

 **ImWhelmed:**

ow pls stip

 **Wallmart85:**

no

 **ALLCAPS:**

IM PUTTING MY PHONE IN THE FRIDGE

 **Wallmart85:**

ok

 **ALLCAPS:**

THERES ALREADY A PHONE IN HERE? WTF

 **ImWhelmed:**

my eyes r bleeding

 **ALLCAPS:**

WHOS PHONE IS THIS OMG

 **Wallmart85:**

its megans

 **ImWhelmed:**

ffs connor stop

 **ALLCAPS:**

OH

WELL IM STILL DOING IT

GOODNIGHT YOU INCONSIDERATE PEOPLE

 **Wallmart85:**

yea connor

 **ImWhelmed:**

good riddance

artemis fake the wuck up

you know what i mean

 **Wallmart85:**

ok but consider this: do i really?

 **ImWhelmed:**

focu s wally

artemis im gonna start yellin

 **Wallmart85:**

no don't

 **ImWhelmed:**

im gonna do it

 **Wallmart85:**

lord help us all

 **ImWhelmed:** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **nvr2L82st0p:**

…

you guys are assholes you know that

 **Wallmart85:**

omg yay ur hereeeee

and language

 **ImWhelmed:**

thank god

 **nvr2L82st0p:**

wtf do you guys want

 **ImWhelmed:**

to sleep

nite u twigs

 **Wallmart85:**

i just wanted to say that u probs look vv pretty right now

 **nvr2L82st0p:**

...wow um thanks wally

 **Wallmart85:**

yeah

sleep good :)


End file.
